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Six Months of 2020

Dear Future Kevin,

It’s been one of the wildest years of my life. One filled with contradictions, of personal successes and victories alongside an epidemic, protests, and the beginnings of what I hope is real change. 

I launched a podcast, started blogging regularly (more or less), wrote and posted a ton of fiction, moved, and was promoted at the day job. Lots of victories this year, especially compared to the previous 2-3 where I was so caught in my mental tapes of self-hate and mired in depression I couldn’t do much at all. 

There were some setbacks as well. I didn’t hit my fitness goals like how I wanted, and found eating right and working out as hard and as consistently as I need to even more difficult than I thought. I still deal with anxiety and depression thoughts daily, but it is easier to counter them and to recognize the untruthful lens through which they see the world. 

I also haven’t found my way in to truly being an activist. I donated, sure, reposted resources, and did what I could to amplify the fight for true liberation and justice for all. But it felt empty or like I could do more. (Hello anxiety). 

Looking ahead, I hope to get season 2 of Marvelous Miscellany out, begin querying agents and grow my writing. I’d also like to meet a handsome man and have a path to move to my dream city, San Francisco. I’d like to learn to love my body at whatever level of health or fitness it is, and I’d like to spend more time learning and reading. 

If the theme for 2020 is Action, then I think the theme word for the second half of 2020 is Focus. I know what it is I want, who I want to be, how I want to live my life, and where I want to do that. Now I just have to focus on that and it’ll happen. 

And, of course, put in the work. 

And not eat a whole pint of ice cream by myself.

And if I do, be kind about it. 

Future Kevin, I hope things are better for you and for everyone there.

Keep it real,

Past Kevin